We try to teach our children; “No means No” but is that reality? As a parent, I find myself changing my mind all the time and end up confusing my children. Lately, mainstream society is teaching only; “Yes means Yes” especially when it comes to sex. But this does not hold up because anyone can change their mind whenever they want.
And that is our right, to make decisions for ourselves and change them if it suits us better. I find this motto to be a double edge sword. What works for one situation does not work for another. All parents want to stick to the guns when they tell their children, “No”. But there are exceptions. Because our mood and emotion affect how we respond or if the actions take up a lot of our time.
Life has shown me that it does pay to be persistent and constant in life. That is a great lesson to teach our children, but that sounds offensive in a relationship or applying for a job that has already turned you down.
Moving Forward
So how does society reconcile this dilemma?
By knowing thyself. Do you know yourself, truly? Or understand what makes you tick or what creates joy inside you? Do you know your limits and play with them? I like to think that is one of my greatest assesses. At a young age, I know what I wanted and rarely wavered. I choose to fill my life with no regrets and not think about the what-ifs. Also, I choose to believe that all my choices were the right ones for me to make at that time.
Where decision-making goes wrong is filling ourselves with shame and guilt over our choices. There is no wrong choice, just a perception of a right or wrong way of going about things. Let’s teach our children the nuances of taking an answer for face value and when someone’s core beliefs are standing in their way. The movie, Yes Man, is a great example of how people’s core beliefs hold them back.
As adults, we need to be consistently checking in and reevaluating our core beliefs. To make sure we a presenting the world the current/correct version of ourselves and not someone from days past. By updating our expectations of ourselves, we can make the right decision at the moment without the art of convincing.
Live Joy, Renee