Sexuality contains several things: thoughts, feelings, behaviour, attraction, and interactions. Recently, I have been exploring my perceived limits of sexuality and what should it be going forward. I don’t mean in terms of whom I am attracted to, that is already established. As it is, I am exploring my comfort levels with my thoughts, feelings and behaviour towards and around sex. Especially in today’s modern world of changing preferences of physical attraction and sexuality.
There are tons of shame for both sexes around sex and sexuality. Females are pressured to be like porno stars and males are ashamed to be aroused. We find our core beliefs about sex and attraction failing us, creating lifelong shame and guilt. Affecting the way we form happy and healthy relationships with ourselves and others. While society today changes the conceptions of sexual identification, we also need to adjust all the rest. I feel it’s pretty clear now, not all women and men want to marry and have children or are even responsible for anyone’s heart but themselves.
Sexual Contentment
But if the ideal concept of sexual contentment is wrapped up in a heterosexual marriage, then it must go. First, we need to start with personal love and pleasure. Every individual needs to know and understand their own body and what is pleasurable to them. It’s not just the male trait anymore to masturbate, it is everyone’s responsibility to give themselves an orgasm first.
I believe self-exploration will create a healthy expectation for both males and females. Even contributing by engaging in less risky sex and staying in relationships longer than necessary. Let’s teach our children to be Sex Positive and understand their bodies better than anyone else. That way, they are not depending on their sexual partner to satisfy their every need.
It is impossible to be anyone’s everything, as the saying states: “it takes a village”. And I truly believe that is correct for all situations in life. No one is an isolated island, weathering against the waves of life. We need our parents to create us, then a whole bunch of teachers to learn from and still we need lots of others to fulfill our requirements of Love.
This is true with sexuality. Be in love with yourself. Learn to sexually gratify yourself and when you are ready to share your love, do so with others.
Live Joy, Renee