When is it the right time to step in and lend a hand in your child’s life? Obviously when they ask for help, but what about all the other times? The problem with meddling when it comes to our children is that we don’t know what the outcome is until after we do it.
The outcomes can be very different. Not meddling encourages self-awareness and independence. On the other hand, it can cause a lack of guidance and isolation if they find out we had information that might have helped.
How do we find a balance, especially when we are invested in our children’s happiness? The best answer I have found so far is to help your child explore all outcomes. Even if they did not ask for help.
We can only draw from our perspective on what deems meddling or not. Explaining in detail why we feel the way we feel towards their situation will help them understand where we are coming from. Love is where we are ultimately coming from, so let’s make that known.
The child should have the final decision on if, when and how to proceed. As long as it’s not a safety concern.
Finding Balance
With a history of being bullied, I find it hard not to meddle when I see my children being misunderstood. I realize I am robbing them of learning from their own mistakes. But it all comes down to if we feel we have done all that we can to help. Everyone’s limit is different and based on their own experiences.
I have also concluded that through our child’s life, we can re-live our own experiences. See them through a different lens and think about the alternative outcomes to our childhood.
Finding balance in parenting is important, so re-imagining a different outcome for your own childhood experiences.
Live Joy, Renee