I want to explore a personal matter of mine which ties into uncommon childhood traumas. As a collective, we need to recognize all the various ways childhood trauma can manifest. Then as a people, we can start to mend our current Mental Health Issues.
Spreading Mental Health Awareness is a passion of mine. Even before I started down the path of spirituality. Throughout my workplace and even within my family, I observed the desperate need for better body/mind/heart balance.
Previously, I wrote about core beliefs and how they shape our decisions throughout our lives. Our initial core beliefs are created during childhood when we have the least amount of self-awareness. This is why it is imperative to continually re-evaluate them as we move through life.
My uncommon childhood trauma is the fact that I was adopted by my maternal family. I was unaware of my real birth parents until I graduated from high school. Like most adoptees, I am very grateful and happy with how my life turned out.
But this trauma is the kind that keeps on giving. During my youth, I would come home crying from school or from playing with my extended family. I was upset about being told I looked like my aunt or that I come from somewhere else. My mom needs to reinforce the Little White Lie to calm me down.
Family Coping
At the time, I did not appreciate all the little tricks they used to not lie to me as much as possible. My dad would joke about finding me in a cabbage patch like the dolls or my mom telling me I was her easiest birth. Now, I do.
I understand the difference between not telling the truth for personal gain and not telling the whole truth for everyone’s benefit. I did benefit from growing up in a big family. From feeling like I belonged without my siblings and from telling me otherwise in anger. My siblings always defended my legitimacy and did not know the truth until their late teens.
Growing up, I use to say I was the ‘White Sheep’ of my family because I was different but in a good way. How this uncommon trauma affected me was threw off comments and side-way looks my whole family received when we were together. Our differences were not only physically, but also developmentally noticeable.
Personal Coping
I have always felt different from my family, especially my dad’s side. I did not know the root cause of these feelings, until the day I was told where I came from. This fact did not change who and how I loved my family. It just finally gave me the answer to why I was different. A sense of peace and understanding came over me.
From that day on, I started my journey towards loving myself, my true self. Which was the key I was missing. It satisfied a longing inside of me I could not recognize was there. I know there are people out there who say to never look backwards. For me, it was a necessity for self-discovery.
My experience showed me how strong I am and how amazing children are. We don’t give them enough credit for their mental health. Teaching children and aiding them through their self-discovery is monumental for the future of Mental Health.
Live Joy, Renee