This is an open letter of gratitude to all my childhood friends for all their love and support throughout my adolescence.
This week I was triggered by a Last Week Tonight episode. Even though the topic was not the same as my trigger, it still lead me to see a different side to my childhood friendships. Growing up, I felt that my upbringing was atypical and I might have subconsciously chosen my friends with opposite upbringings.
The majority of my friends were either the only child or the only girl. All this time I thought I was doing them a service by being their best friend and having sleepovers all the time. Which started during my grandparent’s divorce, all through them remarrying and beyond. During this time, friendship became the centre of my life and a great distraction. Because I was lonely for my grandmother who was very important to me. She was my mentor and a major love provider during my youth.
A New Appreciation
It’s clear to me now, that I was the one in need of companionship. Being the youngest of four with a learning disability, I was not easy to understand and had trouble following social cues. So I am very grateful to all my besties, who found something about me to love and care for. I want to thank you for all your hugs and contributions to my fast pace topic-changing tangents.
Because of my older siblings, I learned to shy away from physical contact. So when my only child friends, initiated hugs or sat close to me, I use to shudder away. I appreciate their relentlessness. For now, I have countless photographs and memories of their closeness to me.
I also appreciate them for not always correcting my grammar or telling me to be quiet. Many thanks for them teaching me how to do my hair and make-up and showing me fashion trends. It was always nice to watch movies and Electric circuits at their house since I did not have cable. Through them and their families, I experienced tasty homemade meals, and relaxing family time, and observed what a healthy family acts like.
With my friends’ love and through my observations, I was able to create real and healthy core beliefs. Even though I did move from BFF to BFF throughout my teen years, I am grateful for all of them. Thanks for offering me a safe refuge during my tough times. Please know that all of your love and support are valued, even though it took me twenty-five years to realize it.
Live Joy, Renee