Category: April 2022

Society is inadvertently stripping away masculinity. Every time the mainstream attitude is: Cancel Culture, Me Too or Gaslighting, we are in an energy imbalance. I am not saying that these steps were not necessary for the highly anticipated masculine wake-up call. But like in all relationships, it takes two to tango. When females stripped away their femininity to be equal to males, we left a void for the distorted masculine to fill in.

Society needs balance and it is everybody’s job to do their part. Females need to reclaim their femininity and be proud of their gender and each other. And males need to embrace their feminine side and feel comfortable being both loving and strong.

Gender Balance

We all need to evaluate our current life balances. Do we embrace both our masculine and feminine qualities? How can we adjust our energies to be in balance with the Law Of Gender? How can we change our thoughts and actions to allow others to be in balance also? Another key element to accepting both genders is forgiveness, for yourselves and others. We are not created to be perfect all the time, but with understanding and patience, we will improve our lives.

As written in a previous post, I did not realize my lack of femininity. Which initiated my partner to compensate with wounded/distorted masculinity. Therefore causing me to see him as co-dependent and needy, while he balanced out my fierce independence.

There is a real need for balance between the two genders. That can be witnessed all around us, between any two people. Let’s combat this effect by learning to see the signs and finding ways to balance our actions. When we do not balance our energies, nature will find a way to for us.

In conclusion, the individual does have the biggest impact on all outcomes. Choose balance. Choose joy. Learn to work with the Laws of the Universe. Then witness all the really exciting and positive changes around you.

Live Joy, Renee

This is an open letter of gratitude to all my childhood friends for all their love and support throughout my adolescence.

This week I was triggered by a Last Week Tonight episode. Even though the topic was not the same as my trigger, it still lead me to see a different side to my childhood friendships. Growing up, I felt that my upbringing was atypical and I might have subconsciously chosen my friends with opposite upbringings.

The majority of my friends were either the only child or the only girl. All this time I thought I was doing them a service by being their best friend and having sleepovers all the time. Which started during my grandparent’s divorce, all through them remarrying and beyond. During this time, friendship became the centre of my life and a great distraction. Because I was lonely for my grandmother who was very important to me. She was my mentor and a major love provider during my youth.

A New Appreciation

It’s clear to me now, that I was the one in need of companionship. Being the youngest of four with a learning disability, I was not easy to understand and had trouble following social cues. So I am very grateful to all my besties, who found something about me to love and care for. I want to thank you for all your hugs and contributions to my fast pace topic-changing tangents.

Because of my older siblings, I learned to shy away from physical contact. So when my only child friends, initiated hugs or sat close to me, I use to shudder away. I appreciate their relentlessness. For now, I have countless photographs and memories of their closeness to me.

I also appreciate them for not always correcting my grammar or telling me to be quiet. Many thanks for them teaching me how to do my hair and make-up and showing me fashion trends. It was always nice to watch movies and Electric circuits at their house since I did not have cable. Through them and their families, I experienced tasty homemade meals, and relaxing family time, and observed what a healthy family acts like.

With my friends’ love and through my observations, I was able to create real and healthy core beliefs. Even though I did move from BFF to BFF throughout my teen years, I am grateful for all of them. Thanks for offering me a safe refuge during my tough times. Please know that all of your love and support are valued, even though it took me twenty-five years to realize it.

Live Joy, Renee

We try to teach our children; “No means No” but is that reality? As a parent, I find myself changing my mind all the time and end up confusing my children. Lately, mainstream society is teaching only; “Yes means Yes” especially when it comes to sex. But this does not hold up because anyone can change their mind whenever they want.

And that is our right, to make decisions for ourselves and change them if it suits us better. I find this motto to be a double edge sword. What works for one situation does not work for another. All parents want to stick to the guns when they tell their children, “No”. But there are exceptions. Because our mood and emotion affect how we respond or if the actions take up a lot of our time.

Life has shown me that it does pay to be persistent and constant in life. That is a great lesson to teach our children, but that sounds offensive in a relationship or applying for a job that has already turned you down.

Moving Forward

So how does society reconcile this dilemma?

By knowing thyself. Do you know yourself, truly? Or understand what makes you tick or what creates joy inside you? Do you know your limits and play with them? I like to think that is one of my greatest assesses. At a young age, I know what I wanted and rarely wavered. I choose to fill my life with no regrets and not think about the what-ifs. Also, I choose to believe that all my choices were the right ones for me to make at that time.

Where decision-making goes wrong is filling ourselves with shame and guilt over our choices. There is no wrong choice, just a perception of a right or wrong way of going about things. Let’s teach our children the nuances of taking an answer for face value and when someone’s core beliefs are standing in their way. The movie, Yes Man, is a great example of how people’s core beliefs hold them back.

As adults, we need to be consistently checking in and reevaluating our core beliefs. To make sure we a presenting the world the current/correct version of ourselves and not someone from days past. By updating our expectations of ourselves, we can make the right decision at the moment without the art of convincing.

Live Joy, Renee

In this half, some of my views might seem tone-deaf. Especially during a time when society is redefining what it means to be female. I don’t know if I am capturing the right sentiment in my post, but I am going to try to convey my feelings.

As stated in my previous post, I believe females gave up their femininity. And with that the right to draw attention to their menstruation discomforts or possible limitations during conception/pregnancy. Like males, not all females are made the same. We all have unique limitations and strengths due to our corresponding genders.

Societal Expectations

In addition to survival, throughout history females’ primary abilities are to bear and take care of offspring. A trait which we share with the majority of the females in the animal kingdom. At least in humans, we can rely on our male counterparts to aid and support us.

I dread that our society is forgetting how precious creating human life is. This ability is unique only to female-born humans and through acceptance, we should respect and honour it. We can achieve this by allowing females to be vulnerable and safe with their emotions and sexual organs. As it is now females curse their bodies and discredit their feelings.

Ways To Improve

When we feel uterine contractions due to menstruation, allow us to the opening talk about it. Just like all the other aches and pains all humans experience. When it comes to females who do want to conceive, let’s support their lifetime commitment and offer work options. Or honouring the time it takes to conceive by allowing time off or less stressful tacts. Even though some females are capable of working during these times with the opportunity to see what works best for the individual.

Looking Forward

Society does not want to go backwards in gender equality. What we need to do is have certain care available for those with a uterus. The uterus is a gift and should be treated as so. Because people with uteruses need different requirements for their careers and medical treatments throughout their lives. Which does shed every 28 days, give or take. Also comes with hormonal changes and uterus contractions similar to labour. I like to think of menstruation as a routine health condition. Starting at puberty and lasting until menopause.

I am not saying this because I also have a uterus. But because I just don’t want my girls growing up like I did, being ashamed of their natural body functions. Society can do better for all genders involved.

Live Joy, Renee

All my life I have been struggling with my Femininity and what it means to be female. During childhood, my feminine qualities were naturally over-exposed and then exploited. Causing me to align myself with masculine traits like physical strength and emotional neutrality for protection. This began a lifetime of striving to be as strong as males, as capable as males, and as smart as males.

However, when it came to attracting a partner, I was at a loss. I did not know how to have healthy female energy. And I inadvertently, caused a lot of males to feel emasculated. Currently, as a married forty years older woman with children, I am wondering how to achieve healthy femininity. And to allow my partner to have healthy masculinity around me.

These thoughts are sparked by my deep love for Victorian literature. Through my constant fascination with how femininity is defined throughout history, I hope to find feminine energy balance. I have concluded that society is forgetting how unique and sacred the role females have in humanity. Today, I see a society that is stripped of its femininity.

Despite what history has stated, the genders can do many of the same tasks. Although during the time females asked for equality in the home and workplace, females also unfairly gave up their feminine qualities to seem equal. Both genders have their unique physical, mental and emotional qualities and females and males are not equal. They need to complement each other and both need to be honoured for their unique abilities.

I use the term ‘abilities’ based on that they are different from traits. Because we all possess both masculine and feminine traits, but not all of us are composed the same abilities.

Loss Of Masculinity

When a whole gender is undefined, the counterpart gender is left to stand alone. Due to de-feminizing, we unintentionally cause society to focus only on masculinity and be overwhelmed by it. Forcing society to turn against masculinity to stabilize the energies. The true solution is to reinstate femininity, not to strip away masculine energy as well.

Therefore allowing females to be emotional and vulnerable in a safe environment again. As well as to allow males to protect and support society as we regain balance.

Live Joy, Renee